This week in entirely made-up horoscopes…

February 5, 2025

The Signs as types of cookies

Aries: Red velvet with white chocolate chips

Taurus: Thumbprint cookie

Gemini: raw cookie dough

Cancer: samoas 

Leo: Oatmeal raisin 

Virgo: too salty chocolate chip

Libra: Sugar cookie

Scorpio: Double chocolate chunk

Sagittarius: White chocolate macadamia

Capricorn: Thin mints

Aquarius: Gingersnap

Pisces: Snickerdoodle