Humor – Page 10 – The Western Howl

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Time to start my year-long backpacking adventure across the wilds of New Mexico! See ya on the flipside ∠(￣^￣) [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] What do you get when you mix a ladybug, a rabbit and a lizard?

Who knows, but I definitely do want to see it. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] I have no idea what day it is. I stay up until 6 a.m. working, go to bed, and then wake up at 2 p.m. to start the cycle again. Is today Friday? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] You’ve got that emotional sauce, man.

Go protest. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] When life gives you lemons, give them back and say you want coffee [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] How do I avoid stress? I just don’t write it down. If I don’t write it down, I don’t do it. And if I don’t do it, I don’t stress about it. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Bye [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] I should’ve known better. The year never ends easy. Good luck to everyone else. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] PLS DON’T LEAVE ME. I’M GOING TO MISS YOU. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] My mind has snapped like a stale breadstick. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] I’d say I’ve already left the building, but I’m scared to go outside… hold me. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Time to sleep through the entirety of summer bc I’m exhausted af. [/fruitful_tab]

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The Western Howl

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This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Duck! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Have you heard how people have been spotting fairies and unicorns…? Yeah me neither. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] Welcome to rat season, sorry, Gemini season. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] We’re all just the Cabbage man from “Avatar.”

By the way. Go watch it. It’s on Netflix now. You have no excuses. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Duck! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Oh, Worm. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Im a zebra [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Wait, I didn’t realize that my online classes weren’t optional. Rough. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Sagittarius will be gone this week. Hello, my name is kaiyo and here’s my message for you, “I’m going to hydro flask you.” [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] *hears classes will be online next term* nO NO you put that sentence back in your mouth. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Goose!

Ew, why did I just do that? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Please excuse me as I watch ten straight hours of “Gilmore Girls” and pretend that this term is over already. [/fruitful_tab]

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The Western Howl

Home » Humor

This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] I’m having me time, get out. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] A great way to achieve some peace and quiet to get what you need done… Don’t do it, let it be and continue your procrastination. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] There are no rules in quarantine except for one. Block block block your ex and never text them again. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] So you’ve started writing poems in your Notes app … you know there’s no coming back from that, right? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Oops *moans* [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Why is “Gravity Falls” only two seasons! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″]Wait what? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Just so we’re all on the same page, flying spiders were a thing in Texas three years ago. But they might come back.. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Who knew that eating chocolate frosting could be such great exercise? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Sorry, it’s week eight and I’m not feeling this, sayonara [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Advice, brought to you by iPhone predictive text: If I don’t wanna go get back with ya, lol. I’m sorry about that. Your email is not working. [/fruitful_tab]

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The Western Howl

Home » Humor

This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″]All quarantine has taught me is that I’m a procrastinating disaster hamster. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Listen, I’m just trying to get through the day. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] Now that quarantine has completely wrecked your sleep schedule, you can now hear your neighbors drag racing their cars at 4 a.m. What a time to be alive. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] MIKE WAZOWSKI [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] I can’t think of anything. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] .enitnarauq fo derit os m’I [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] *meme* [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Have you tried just, making banana bread? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Nygel Ian is pretty cool. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Asdfghjkl;’ ? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Keeping it classy in these week-long pjs [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Beans!!! [/fruitful_tab]

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The Western Howl

Home » Humor

This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] You? ME? Who? We!

I’m okay, I swear. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Twizzlers solve everything, especially in an apocalypse, so stock up. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] Virgo is just out here to rip your heart out. If you know, you know. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] You guys realize the government just confirmed that aliens exist, right? You guys realize that, right? RIGHT?! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Man, Aquarius really said we live in a society. ¦¬) [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] It’s only the matter of time before our government executes Order 66. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] God’s Plague Inc score must be off the charts [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] I’ll fight an alien, I don’t care. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] STREAM SAVAGE REMIX BY MEGAN THEE STALLION (FEAT. BEYONCÉ). [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Check in with any Cancers you know today (I think they’re going a little nuts). [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Maybe we are the virus [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] You ever wonder if we’re all just Sims in a really, really wild game of Sims 2: Double Deluxe? [/fruitful_tab]

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The Western Howl

Home » Humor

This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] What’s a sleep schedule? I wake up and I pass out when I want!! You don’t control me (ง’̀-‘́)ง [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Don’t get your horns in a wad… [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] To that one professor who is acting like the world isn’t ending, I hope you run out of toilet paper. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] I’m so bored, the Duolingo owl hasn’t even had to threaten me lately. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] HOI. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] John Oliver is our lord and savior. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] I like looking at big numbers [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Honestly, you shouldn’t be surprised at this point. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] TESTICULAR MASS. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] My new schedule has me drinking my third cup of coffee by 11 a.m., but hey, such is life. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] We asked 100 college students are you Survivin’, Thrivin’, Dyin’?

Number 1 answer: I have 15 assignments due on Sunday, you do the math. No seriously, please do my math homework. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] My name is Jerry. [/fruitful_tab]

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The Western Howl

Home » Humor

This week in completely made up horoscope

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Wake up 3 minutes before Zoom class. No exceptions. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] I’m zooming out…bye [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] Just like how professors knew you were texting in class, professors know you’re playing Animal Crossing on your switch during Zoom. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] I wish my Zoom meeting would get hacked by someone interesting … like Jeff Goldblum and his astounding lesbian energy. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] lol [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] What Sag said…Good luck. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] zoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOooOOOO00O000ooonm

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[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] It’s okay to wear no pants when you’re Zooming, they can’t see much anyways. Be comfortable in these uncomfortable times. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] I have no zoom meetings this term, so idk what to tell y’all. Good luck? lmao. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Pro tip: make yourself look sad during your Zoom meeting so the professor won’t call on you. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] You think Zoom is only for class? Amateur. I use it to hold my daily sob sessions with my cry guys. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Zoom? Zoom who? The only “Zoom” I know is the PBS series I used to watch as a kid. Best part of my day. [/fruitful_tab]

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Western Oregon University’s Land Acknowledgement
Western Oregon University in Monmouth, OR is located within the traditional homelands of the Luckiamute Band of Kalapuya. Following the Willamette Valley Treaty of 1855 (Kalapuya etc. Treaty), Kalapuya people were forcibly removed to reservations in Western Oregon. Today, living descendants of these people are a part of the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde Community of Oregon and the Confederated Tribes of the Siletz Indians.

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This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

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