Written by: Liberty Miller | Lifestyle Editor
Growing up, I always lent my mom out to my friends like a blockbuster movie. I remember saying something along the lines of “She can adopt you, she’s the best. She’ll cook you lots of good food and tell you what you need to hear.”
In my eyes, that was the recipe for a loving household. To this day, I think the cure to any tough situation is a home-cooked meal and a stern talk from the legend herself. Even though I roll my eyes and huff and puff about how she’s too hard on me, she gives her advice for a reason.
Present day, my mom is subject to my constant barrage of calls and debriefs on disastrous situations — not once has she let me down.
So, in honor of putting my mom in the print edition of the Howl, I’m going to share some of the best advice I’ve received from her and some of my best advice as well. The premise: how to be a young adult in a world that makes young adulting nearly impossible.
Having a hard time adjusting to new circumstances, a hard job, a stressful workload or just people? Here’s what Lucie says to me: see it through, when one commits to something, it looks the best for that individual to see it through and do their best work. That way, coming out of a tough situation, they can still be confident in the fact that they did their best, did the right thing and overcame that challenge.
So in the many times I came across a hurdle or situation that seemed unsolvable, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and made it work somehow. This has helped me instill confidence in my ability to do hard things. Thanks, Mom.
Unsatisfied with current employment or looking to pursue a different and more advanced career? Transferring schools or majors? Here’s what Lucie has to say about that: ONLY make lateral or upward movements. Pertaining specifically to jobs, either find a job that has equal pay and higher satisfaction or a job that pays more in a more advanced position.
This is what climbing the ladder is all about. Concerning the advice about seeing things through, it is smart, professionally, to stay at a job and do well for about 3 years, and then seek better opportunities in the future once established at the current position.
In a committed relationship as a young adult? Learning to balance life and fun in college? Here is the best advice I’ve been given regarding that. Lucie says, first and foremost, to establish oneself as a woman/individual in the workforce before relying on someone else emotionally or financially. My mom worked and supported herself for years in Texas in the retail industry. It had its challenges, yes, but it also highlights the importance of independence and responsibility.
Asking for help from family and supporting/being supported by friends is crucial, of course, but asking for that type of support from a romantic partner ultimately doesn’t end well in a lot of cases. It’s best to have ownership of work, pride and savings to fall back on when disaster strikes.
Speaking of family, ultimately, the best advice has been demonstrated by my mom, not just verbalized. In my culture, specifically because my mom’s side of the family is Hispanic, family is everything to us. Family will drive us insane; get on every last nerve humanly possible; argue and fight; family will also support us; help out financially; raise us; listen to us; spend Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter with us; and watch us grow up year after year. Family is there when there is nothing else left.
The best advice my mom gave to me was to value family over everything. There was a time in my life when romantic partners and friends took priority. They took my time and attention, but when all was said and done and those people eventually left, I had a family, a village to fall back on for unconditional love and support.
There have been several situations where I’ve had to choose between family and others who wanted priority, and I’ve been steadfast in my decisions to choose my family and have been monumentally happier as a result. Whether you have close relatives or a found family, cherish them.
Finally, the part where I share my advice. My mother raised a top-tier rebel, original thinker and troublemaker despite her best guidance, which means I have learned more life lessons the hard way than your average Joe. Therefore, all of my readers are now subject to my life-philosophy soliloquy, honed by years of making the worst decisions and somehow still ending up okay.
How I survive life is by being honest with myself and staying true to my values. I try my best to live life authentically every day and set aside time to be quiet and practice gratitude. I forge ahead and do the things I’m terrified to do because the worst thing that can happen is rejection, which is a feeling that becomes less damaging the more I condition myself to it. I find my close friends and stick with them. I don’t change myself to fit other’s expectations or standards of what I should be and act like. I put a lot of effort into the things I care about.
When I make a mistake, I use it as an opportunity to grow and do something different. When I see an immovable wall, I find a way to crush it. I seize chances to make something that matters even when I don’t believe in myself. I have faith that everything will work out exactly the way it’s supposed to.
My words of advice are: life is too fleeting to let feelings like anxiety and fear stop someone from achieving great things.
Contact the author at howllifestyle@wou.edu
